Listen, sound very easy but never seems
like what exactly it should be. Listening is a easy
thing to do but in the other way it’s also hard to practice it. This statement
sound like I’m talking a riddle, in some way I was said it was easy but in the
other way I was said it was hard to
practice it. How could it’s be like that? Because I was the
one of them. I think perhaps some people of you guys also experienced it
too.
When someone was in the trouble or have a problem what they needed the most was “Listening”.
Why? You must be think what people need when they in trouble is a solution
instead an unknown people that only helped them to heard what the hell is going
on? Actually we have misunderstood that, somehow people need the most is we
could listen to them but “without judging”, listen with all your heart, what I
meant it’s put effort and attention, don’t feel weird because you think that
heart never had the ability to heard which the sense of heard was belong to our
ears. Listen with no doubt, only listen don’t comment too much to the story.
I have been hard to listening fully to
the people when they trying talking or telling me something, I often like to
interrupted even they only talking in the half way to finished the conversation.
Today I’m going share some benefit of listening, how to be able listening to
the fully in my own view with you guys.
Benefit
of listening
1. Learning something new
Some people love to say the phrase “when
you talk you share what you know and when you listen you got what you never
know”. As that phrase said you will always got something new when you put your
attention to listening to the people that talking to you. We never known what
exactly we will heard if we don’t wait till they finished what they want to
say, of course, you also have to listening with all your heart if you really
want to get the point of their conversation or story they have been told. Even
they’re talking about their problem, perhaps you will gain the experiences of
the feeling they share , when someday you got the same problem, you will
understand having a problem, it isn’t about why, it’s about how people past
thorough it and deal with it.
2. Become More Empathy
When you learn to listening to the
people, you become more empathy. Nowadays people only few of them could be able
to empathy to people around them. People who able to empathy it was the one who
with the most soft hearted people. Being empathy meant
you understand how the feeling of others, then you will be understand
the emotion that appear within those people. With listening it will increased
your knowledge about knowing and understanding people.
3. When listening you are going to spread a
good act
Listening is a kind act with the most easy way to do. Do you want to do some good thing to your
beloved one or your friend? With an easy way? Give it
a try with listening, and see how the result of its. Its
worked, mostly people want to be heard because people are need attention. We
love to be noticed when we’re in a trouble, we need someone to know how hard
our feeling was.
4. Listening make a good relationship
between people
Listening make a good connection with
people and fixed a broken relationship. It’s incredible sound like that, right ? , just to be able listening then we can fix a broken
relationship whether with a friend, family member and so on. Because a relationship was made by a bond,
when we were able to listening, that meant we put aside the others thing for a
while just to listen to them, to care what happened to them and how the feeling
they felt, Bond made people attached to each other, it’s make a relationship
more closer and move aside the obstacle aside from them.
How
to be able listening to the fully
I’m not
going to show how should be when we trying to listening, but I’m just sharing
tips we could do to make the process of being able to listening become worked
and in the other side we found we love to do it, not because we have to or
should do, but because of we want and we love to do it. Here some of the tricks
you could make a try
1. Listen without judging
This was the most important step you
don’t have to forget about it. People might be able to listen what people said
but in their mind they already made some judgment to the things they just
heard. As a human we often make our self judgment as what already happened as
the fact. We love to play with
everything that appear in our mind, we make a judgment to the people with what
just we seen in the surface, but we never really understand the real emotion
they have felt it, or what they have gone through. No matter what they have do,
it’s not our turn to judge them, because every one
have their own portion to taking every responsibility or consequences of their
action in their life, so don’t got busy yourself by judging people. Listen to
them, then place yourself at their position for a
while, felt the feeling of them. After that conversation have done, switch to
yourself again, no judge just listen.
2. Listen with no distraction
When you are going listen to the people,
try to put aside all the gadgets in you to avoid the distraction that caused by
its. People will felt that you’re not putting attention to them when you’re
busying on your phone screen when hearing to them, that will caused them lose
interest to keep telling what have happened to them or keep telling you all the
story and details that had happened to them. It’s just a simple rule, when you
put aside all distraction that meant you are serious going to listen to them,
you’re interested to heard from them, and mostly
you’re willing to be their listener.
3. Listen with no doubt
Don’t ever doubt when someone going
telling their personal feeling, how can you be more understand their own feeling
and experiences than them, it’s sound weird when you’re not the main role but
you’re doubting base on your own personal experiences.
4. Listen without too much self comment
Don’t ever try to interrupted the process
of listening by your comment, such as statement like ”I
know your feeling”, so on, maybe you’re trying to
cheer them up or giving some advices, but people never ask for that, too much
comment sound like you’re trying to show that you’re knowing everything or
you’re trying too show your ability to solved the
problem. Too much comment showed its become the moment you’re telling people
your story instead of you’re hearing to their problem.
That’s all my thought about listening,
I’m still practice how to listening well. Several times, I have failed to be a
good listener, I often like to talk my own things when people just about to
start their conversation. Now I change the way when I’m listen, when some
question occur during the process of listening, I was told to myself that no
question needed in here, what they need the most was a pair of ears, an
attention of my eyes, a willingness of my attitude, a sincerely heart from my
heart to understand and most importantly a previous time from mine.
