In this few weeks I feeling I was
kinda dead, not alive, I was like a living zombie, I don’t feel the meaning of
life, or I have got a minor depression , I don’t know either. I just feeling I’m
very alone, I can’t feel the support from people around me, I don’t get approval
and support from them to doing the things bring the sparks and joys in my life.
I want to pet a dog, my mom never
allow me till I got married my husband still unable to give me a pet, I really disappointed
somehow, I know this isn’t his duty to fulfill my wishes but I was kinda feel
being break the promise, everytime I remember I have to give away my Dog, its
like a thorn , I felt I want to cried out loud. Until today still unable to
feeling the joys being the owner of the Dog.
When in college time , I want
studied the major I love the most, but my parents want me to follow the rest of
the people choosing the major they think will be easier to find the job , they
think these major will gave me a good job and career, but I think it’s just so
so. Right now I just worked as a ordinary office lady, actually I love
psychology I love it so much, but who cares, who gonna paid me at that time.
I want to be vegan, but everyone
have a very bad stigma about vegan, I just want to take care my body, I want
eat based on what my body crave, and then when you told that everybody,they would blame you for being naïve, but it’s
really backed by science. I don’t know
why this people act was they want you to do what they want to see from
you.
I want to began a small business,
I don’t know why I love to sell product, but everytime I want to begin, they
will throw you a cold shoulder and said, its not gonna work, its really
exhausted living with them somehow, I don’t hate them, I just feeling drained
by their life existing beside me.
I know I shouldn’t blaming people
fo not letting me made the decision, I just can’t just ignore them, but may i?
They are people who are very close to me, they are my parents, my husband.
I became seeking the right to
speak out, I really tired if till my 30 something I still have to do anything I
really dislike about. I once think I could change the way they think maybe. But
now, I was thingking when you are kinda women that have a stubborn minded you
need a man who can balance you.
I just want to throw out all of my negative thought since its really annoying me!
